I've thought about this quite a bit lately, as I meet new people and am on the verge of traveling to a new country, starting a new job.... All of the things that scare me. New people? Yikes! (The introvert in me is curled up in a ball)
The "what do you do?" question is lazy and never really leads to meaningful conversation, in my opinion. But it's what I grew up with and old habits die hard, you know?
A better question (that I heard somewhere - probably in a TikTok, don't judge) is to ask "what are you excited about right now?" Now, it could lead them to talk about their job, but more importantly, it gets right to what someone REALLY wants to talk about. For most people, that's definitely not their job - could be their hobby, side gig, kids, wife, the latest Super Bowl (Go Chiefs!), etc.
Now, how to train myself to ask that, instead of "what do you do?"...
It's definitely easier being an extrovert in this situation.
I think you're right that the questions we ask really do inform the kinds of answers we get. Life's too short to just talk about processing "TPS reports".
I'm surprised you didn't quote Lloyd Dobler in this piece:
“I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”
I tell them “I engage in the arts”. It’s a test to see if they really want an answer or if they’re just making idle chit-chat.
Ooohhh...that's succinct. I like it.
I've thought about this quite a bit lately, as I meet new people and am on the verge of traveling to a new country, starting a new job.... All of the things that scare me. New people? Yikes! (The introvert in me is curled up in a ball)
The "what do you do?" question is lazy and never really leads to meaningful conversation, in my opinion. But it's what I grew up with and old habits die hard, you know?
A better question (that I heard somewhere - probably in a TikTok, don't judge) is to ask "what are you excited about right now?" Now, it could lead them to talk about their job, but more importantly, it gets right to what someone REALLY wants to talk about. For most people, that's definitely not their job - could be their hobby, side gig, kids, wife, the latest Super Bowl (Go Chiefs!), etc.
Now, how to train myself to ask that, instead of "what do you do?"...
It's definitely easier being an extrovert in this situation.
I think you're right that the questions we ask really do inform the kinds of answers we get. Life's too short to just talk about processing "TPS reports".
I'm surprised you didn't quote Lloyd Dobler in this piece:
“I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”
That was the part I pulled out.
It's saved for another article. Don't give my best stuff away :-)