Long ago, in olden days of 2007, the internet was but a young teenager; curious, brash, and bitchy. Not quite the jaded, angry twenty-something twat we all know and love today. Godwin’s Law had existed for several years, but few people knew the name for it. And the possibilities of lifting up marginalized voices for the world to hear (or read) still seemed - mostly - endless. It was a great time to start a blog, especially if you thought you had something to say and no one to say it to.
I started writing for a now long-defunct website called Thisisby.us. It was a site for writers by writers that showcased writing across multiple genres. From politics to tech to erotica to stories about everyday life, online authors could write about absolutely anything they wanted. And other people would read it because they were there to read and write as well. Every story was on the “front page” so they were all visible, depending on how far a reader wanted to scroll down. The best part, though, was that the owners of the site shared 50% of all advertising revenue with the writers. In the words of Yakov Smirnoff": “America! What a country, I love it!”
The most popular posts were found at the top of the page. These were the articles that had garnered the most views and “Goodness”. Goodness was a “like”, an “up vote”, a way to show the writer - as well as the rest of the site - that you dug their stuff. Apparently, the website felt the need to differentiate itself from the 400 million other sites that just used “like” (Hey, the web was full of wonders back then). The more Goodness and views an author garnered, the higher the post rose on the site and the longer it stayed there.
The articles on politics and porn always did best. Not to be confused with political porn. The Daily Kos already existed then (No reason to over saturate the market). Folks seemed to enjoy the relatively civil discourse, and then, you know…porn (erotica, really. No photos…yeah, I know). There were also plenty of “personal interest” posts. Some funny, some sad, and some just angry. Most were told in some witty manner using bargain brand humor consisting of lukewarm jokes full of middling metaphors. Heh, well, I’m sure you won’t find any of that here…
The political opinion pieces tended to be written by center-left liberals who you thought they were some kind of out-of-the-box scions of progressive thought. They weren’t. And commented on by the token conservative voices that seem to read a lot but not write much except to comment and debate the aforementioned political opinions. Almost like built-in mini-trolls, but cuter; not truly annoying unless you fed them too much. It’s a movie, kids. Go check it out.
The fiction stories, fantasy, and sci-fi were fun to write but had a bit of a boutique quality to them. I was one of the few trying to make those happen. I would come home from work, fret over a few hundred words until about 9pm, hit send, then desperately try to figure out what social media sites I could exploit to get a few outside views (Apparently, old habits really do die hard). This happened a lot. At least four or five times each week for a couple of months. They got some views and the the folks willing to read them usually commented and gave up a little goodness. But like a new Nickelback album, they didn’t turn a lot of heads.
Initially, I was quite excited about the prospect of writing online and actually making money from it. I started experimenting with what I thought might work. I wasn’t very good at erotica - literary or otherwise - so I left that subject to the seasoned professionals on the site; mainly dominatrices and long-time ‘enthusiasts’. But the politics I really dug into. There was so much to talk about. From immigration to health care to over-priced housing, man, I was like a guy with a keyboard and an internet connection. I had it all figured out. All I needed was one killer post to show off my brilliance. People would read my work and say ‘Damn, we could just do what that guy says and the problem’s solved. Where has this mad genius been all this time’? Fame, fortune, and other words beginning with ‘F’ were just around the corner.
My magnum opus
I had this idea to lay it all out in one massive missive. I would state the ‘liberal’ case in a fashion unheard of since the days of FDR and rebuke the specious strawman arguments of the day; why do liberals hate America, freedom, and Hannah Montana? Why do they support high taxes, drive-thru abortions, and a Spice Girls reunion tour? And I’d solidify my center-left street cred by showing the people that I was an out-of-box scion of progressive thought! Huh. I think I’ve read that somewhere…
So I sat down to write this epic epistle on a Thursday afternoon in September. I remember it well because Thursday comes right after Wednesday. And it had started raining. Which was the last time I’ve experienced rain in September in the Bay Area. Climate change, so much fun. The post was a fictional account about sitting down on a park bench with a stranger and striking up a conversation. The conversation turns political. And from there, hilarity ensues. Can I get sarcasm font…anyone? If you’d like experience this 1600 word masterpiece and bask in all its majesty, you can find it at:
Hope I didn’t oversell it there.
By Friday, I was eagerly opening my account to see how well my triumph was doing on the scoreboard. Not exactly crickets, but certainly less than I was hoping for. A couple of hundred views, several votes of “Goodness”, but that was about it. I resigned myself to another respectable, but not great, posting. Not sure what I was expecting. Not like Keith Olbermann was going to catch wind of it and give me a shout out on MSNBC (Remember when Olbermann was good? There’s a flashback for you). I decided to sleep it off that weekend and start again on Monday with some other fantastic, world-altering idea that I and only I would fully comprehend.
On Saturday, I checked the site again, just like all good social media, click monkeys do. Not sure what I was expecting but I got a shock. My little political rant had 20,000+ views and around 40 Goodness. 40 was quite good. Like going 3 for 4 with a double and two singles. The 20,000 views - on a website that had 500 (maybe) regular users - was a grand slam followed up by a selfie with Geddy Lee at a Blue Jays game. Greatest bass player on planet Earth, my lovelies. Book it!
It didn’t end there. By Monday, the post had 60,000 views and 100 Goodness. Out of nowhere, I was Kelis working an ice cream social. The views were pouring into that site like click-bait Gatorade. Some readers were joining the site and reading other articles too. It boosted subscriptions (I think they were called something else back then, but hey, it’s 2023. Get with the program). My post stayed at the top of the front page for weeks. It topped out at around 120,000 views and 200+ Goodness. Which means very little in real life except for the fact that I was about to get paid!
C’mon, man. Are we really supposed to believe a guy with no real skills, talents, or social media presence got 120K views on a political rant that we promise to read after this??
I’m glad you asked. The answer is ‘no’. I too was curious as to how a hump like myself struck digital gold when previously I had routinely had trouble getting 50 views from outside the site, itself. So, I checked into it. Truth be told, it wasn’t my social media presence that spurred that stampede at all. The site owners explained to me that one of the other subscribers “stumbled it”. I’m sorry, what?
Stumbleupon, also a now-defunct social media site, was a clearing house for all things across the internet that were amassed by its users. They’d find something they thought was fun or interesting and “stumble it” to the site. They’re followers would see the fun or interesting nugget, click the link, and so on. If they really liked it, they’d stumble it too. It was just like Twitter but without the burning crosses. That - the stumbling, not the burning crosses - is what happened to the greatest political treatise of our time (that was posted on that particular website, in September of 2007). An article that earned more views and more Goodness than any other post - political, porn, or otherwise - in the entire year-and-a-half history of Thisisby.us.
The only thing left to do was to accept my reward, my well-earned check for being the #1 most bestest writer guy who got lucky AF because someone else had a legitimate social media presence and threw him a bone. I wasn’t sure what I would do with my new riches. Perhaps I’d just quit my day job and do the writing gig full time. Maybe take a small vacation. Something fun. It wasn’t until I got my payment of $140 and change that it occurred to me that maybe ads for cut-rate custom t-shirts and off-brand jock itch cream on a website with as few as 500 regular users don’t pay nearly as well as I thought. And to be clear, this was the amount earned on all of my posts, not just the big one. $140 in almost 3 months? At least a hundred hours of work? Almost seemed like it wasn’t worth it.
Well, that ended the first stint of my so-called writing career. I got preoccupied with other things; planning a wedding, baby on the way, my heart almost exploding. But that’s a story for another time. Suffice it to say I’m back writing just like before. Just like in the good old days of first generation iPhones and Britney Spears breakdowns. And that next $140 is out there somewhere. Maybe I should get better at writing the porn. Probably pays a lot better.
Photo credits: Nickleback - Sonic Perspectives Big Trouble in Little China gif - Get Yarn
Amazing the amount of input vs output when it comes to writing, and the arts in general... I'm glad you found your way to Substack and i really hope you make it big here. It's time we all got rewarded for all that hard work.
Absolutely, Jo.
It is about time that hard-working writers got at least a little slice of the pie. Thanks!